There and back again
by da34amadeo
Summary: Christine is injured on an away mission .She becomes childlike and Spock and Mccoy must help her grow up all over again.Rating change . Tiny bit of slash . Just letting you know .


**Oops ! I forgot don't own them .Just like to play with them !**

"I don't Know" Mccoy answered Spock "She won't let me near her!"

Christine was huddled in the corner, arms wrapped around her knees, as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Something was definitely very wrong here. She did not seem to know either of them.

"I will attempt to get a reading" Spock said keeping his voice as non-threatening as he could.

"Christine" he said softly, getting down on the floor in front of her." Please let us help you. I know you are frightened .We do not want to harm you." She eyed him warily, her posture still on guard.

" Are you a doctor too?" She asked tearfully.

"I am the ships science officer "he reassured her.

She relaxed visibly at that. He ran the scanner over his hand "It does not hurt. It is merely a scanner"

I'm not getting a shot?" she asked eyeing Mcoy suspiciously.

"No honey" Mccoy said gently. "We just want to make sure you're okay."

She finally unbent herself from her hiding place, taking the hand Spock held out to her. She gripped it tightly, her blue eyes wide, as Mcoy finally got his reading of her.

"Christine please go over there, so I may speak to Doctor Mccoy." Spock requested.

She made a childlike face at him "Crissy" she corrected "only mamma calls me Christine" She finally released his hand and went to sit on a nearby rock.

"One of her eardrums is ruptured and there are signs of some sort of brain involvement that I don't understand" he reported "I can fix the eardrum now but I've got to get her back to the ship for the rest." He glanced over at her .She sat swinging her feet idly. "She's like a child isn't she?" he asked.

"I believe so. Her thoughts are simplistic and immature. I estimate an age of approximately 10 or is also afraid of medical personnel .There is a traumatic set of memories associated with It." answered Spock.

"She had a bone disorder when she was about 7 or 8 , the treatments were almost as painful as the disorder. they hadn't come up with hypos yet. I wouldn't like me either" he drawled.

Spock nodded in understanding." Tell me again what happened."

"She went over to that hill over there and she just screamed, then she collapsed .Funny thing was I could hear something, just kind of a whine. I dunno, I didn't think it was that bad just annoying." He shrugged helplessly, his face creased with worry.

"Christine was most likely much closer, and she has perfect pitch. Therefore, she would be more easily affected .There is a dead space in any readings I take in that direction. I believe there is something hidden in those fields .She must have triggered some sort of security device."

* * *

"Where are momma and papa?" She asked, again clutching the science officer's hand.

" I do not know " he answered truthfully. Doctor McCoy and I will care for you for now ." he reassured her.

"Okay" she chirped "Why does my dress look like your shirt ?"

"It is what all members of the Enterprise crew wear. Please be still " She paused in her squirming while McCoy fixed the damage to her eardrum.

They had explained to her that she was not really a little girl. She saw her reflection in the mirror Doctor McCoy had given her . The grown lady making faces in the mirror had been her ! She had been surprised when she stuck out her tongue and the mirror lady did the same . Weird ! she thought.

Now she shifted in the darkness restlessly .She hated camping! The sleeping bag made her itch. She missed her Momma and Poppa ,and she wished she had her lovey with her . She wondered if it was on the ship . Enterprise , it didn't sound scary . If Mr Spock lived there it must be a nice place. Doctor McCoy was nice too . Much nicer than that yucky old Dr Randell that gave her the shots that hurt worse than her legs did. He didn't even get mad at her for being scared. Still she wished she had her lovey , even if Momma said she was too big for it.

"Mr Spock ?" she said tentatively " I can't sleep "

"Close your eyes" he ordered firmly.

"They are !" she replied innocently .

"They are not." he answered.

Oops ! She forgot Vulcans could see in the dark. " I'm not tired! " she protested.

Spock sighed getting up " I will sit with you " he said "but you must close your eyes ."

"Okay " she said happily . She slipped her hand in his, finally letting her eyelids drift closed. As she slept, she dreamt of the stars.

* * *

She trailed behind them, picking flowers. A colorful bouquet forming in her hands. They littered her blond hair charmingly . McCoy and Spock wore bracelets she had fashioned from them .

"Scan any new ones you find." McCoy reminded her .

" I will" she said smiling.

It seemed 10 yr old Christine was as enamored of Spock as her adult self was .She did not stray far from him . McCoy listened as their voices drifted over to him.

" Do you think I'm pretty ? " she asked .

Spock sighed inwardly . Apparently this was a large concern to her younger self .She had asked the same thing earlier of Doctor McCoy . He had of course answered in the positive .Telling her she was the most beautiful girl he knew.

"Beauty is subjective" he said diplomatically " Everyone sees it differently . " He could hear McCoy snickering nearby.

She thought about it for a minute . He hadn't answered her question !

" So do _you_ think I'm pretty ? " she responded , changing the emphasis of her question .

" Yes " he answered . " However you have many other positive attributes of equal value .For example you are very intelligent" He heard McCoy's laughter grow louder. Satisfied with his answer she went back to gathering here flowers.

" Spock ! Company ! " McCoy called out suddenly .He looked up to see a smaller figure approaching.

" Crissy please go inside ." He ordered firmly .

" But .." she began .

" Now Christine . " he repeated . She pouted ,the expression comfortingly familiar ' then stomped into the shelter .

"We regret that your crew member was injured . " said the little alien. " However this area must be protected . These flowers grow nowhere else .There medical value is irreplaceable " So is Christine ! McCoy thought angrily .

" There is a possibility that Enterprise might be able to replicate a synthetic formula .Unfortunately it is our ships leading bio researcher who has sucummed to your security device ," Spock said bittingly .

The little alien shrugged unconcerned . " Again , we are sorry .I will bring you some samples . Perhaps if she recovers . "

" Our ship will return for us tomorrow . We will leave a beacon in orbit warning other that this is a protected planet ."

" That is acceptable ." the alien replied. He turned abruptly and moved away , disappearing into the distance.

" Little son of a ... " McCoy spluttered .

"Agreed " said Spock quietly ." You may come out now " Christine peeked around the corner still pouting.

* * *

" I guess thats our best option " McCoy said " I've done everything I can for her medically I don't know why shes still 10 yrs old . " He smiled at the other man. " You look tired . "

" I am somewhat fatigued ." he admitted . She never seemed to sleep entirely thru the night , frequently requesting his presence to return to sleep . Spock had somehow become a father figure to her . She slipped her hand into his contentedly , then drifted off . It was not particularly distressing , her thoughts were childlike and innocent . It was the interrupted sleep that was affecting him.

" She is for all intents and purposes a sensitive child in a strange situation . Her natural insecurities are exaggerated . Perhaps that is the source of her reluctance to regain her memories . " They were there . He sensed them every time she touched him . If the meld does not work i will take her to vulcan to the healers there " he said tiredly " She cannot remain as she is on Enterprise indefinitely . "

" I know she was leaving soon to get her doctorate . I just don't like the thought of losing her like this ! " McCoy exclaimed .

" Nor do I ." Spock agreed .

* * *

" There is no reason for concern . " Spock reassured her " I would not do anything to harm you. " They were in his quarters .She had never grown comfortable with sickbay . " Doctor McCoy will be here to make sure you are safe . "

" Okay ." she answered sweetly . Her trust in him was unwavering.

" Now close your eyes and think about your last birthday ." he coaxed .

" Okay " she repeated .Her blue eyes were large and solemn as the flames of the fire pit reflected off the planes of her face. As she closed them, he placed his fingertips on the proper meld points. " Remember your last birthday , remember the cake like you told me about . " he instructed . " My thoughts to your thoughts " he began . She repeated it with him and slowly everything faded away .There it was. Purple with pink flowers and candles . 10 with one to grow on.

_" Blow out the candles Crissy ! "laughed her father ./" But why is Poppa leaving ? " /" Its a good thing your smart cause you sure aren't graceful ! " snapped her mother . a broken cup on the floor at her feet ,/ " she thinks she's so likes her ! " a group of girls snickering behind her back._

The memories came faster now ,growing more complex as she grew older. He was watching as she grew from a fragile child rapidly becoming the woman who would love him.

The loneliness of her teen years ,struggling to fit in,largely ignored by her peers. it was something he understood . Then she found roger and felt the love and acceptance she had longed for .He felt her grief as he was lost to her,

Then Enterprise , the first time she had seen him.

_" Thats the most gorgeous man I've ever seen ! "she gushed blushing .She hadn't meant to say it out loud . Rand glanced over at the tall figure she stared at ._

_'That's Mr Spock . He's pretty enough but vulcans aren't really my style . "_

Then her humiliation , declaring her love for him like a drunken schoolgirl. Followed by Rogers betrayal ,had he ever really loved her ? He saw the android destroy herself.

_" Come here pretty one_ " He heard his own rich voice seducing her . Henoch not him.

_His face hovering over hers ,filled with distress and embarrassment ," I've wanted this for so long "_

_" I'm ready to move on . " She had put in her papers to go back to school . damn Cris I'm going to miss you ! " He hugged her tight holding on just a little too long ." I'll miss you too Len . " she whispered backing away .His look of surprise as she let her uniform drop to the floor ._

The high pitched whine suddenly filled her head .Pain overwhelming her .She heard her own scream as her mind began to retreat . Only this time Spock was there to catch her and bring her back to herself.

He ended the meld , carefully moving away from her. Her blue eyes filling his vision . She smiled at him and it was a womans smile again . "Thank you . ' she whispered , emotion filling her voice . He did not answer . Afraid to hear the emotion in his own voice .

* * *

She sat in the observation deck,staring out a viewport . She had not been able to sleep . Two sets of memories warred with each other . Her real childhood and the new one . She sighed and watched the stars bleed by .

She had felt a change come over her as of late .Her shyness and self -deprecation falling away . Something inside herself letting go of the past.

A new stronger person was emerging . She did not know what had triggered this change in her, didn't really care .This recent experience had only strengthened those feelings . It had been her new self that had stood in front of McCoy offering herself , just because she could . She smiled at memory . Apparently new Christine was much bolder than her previous self .

* * *

Leonard looked down at his glass swirling the ice cubes around in the amber liquid . Spock seated nearby , finally looking rested again .

"That last memory " he asked blushing " I think I was in it " He'd heard his name .

" It will go no further than the three of us . " Spock reassured him " her sharing of it was unintentional .It was merely her most recent memory of significance "

He couldn't help grinning . " I've never been more surprised in my life . " he said sheepishly . " I'm not the one shes in love with . ' He remembered her standing there in nothing but those black boots and lace . " For a minute there I was a young man again . "He looked at Spock over the rim of his glass . " Do you have any idea what you've missed ? "

" I am Beginning to . " he said staring into his own glass .Reliving her memories had affected him greatly . He could begin to understand this woman who loved him "

" She hasn't left yet you know . " McCoy commented as he began to swirl the ice around in his glass again .

* * *

" Spock ! " Christine exclaimed .It always surprised her to see him at her door . He so seldom sought her out there .

" Your hair is different . " he said startled .

" I wasn't really a blond Mr Spock " she laughed at his reaction ." Please come in ." He moved past her , then stood hands clasped behind his back. She fought the urge to copy the gesture , stood waiting for him to explain why he was there .

' You are recovered from the meld ? " he asked finally .

" I'm fine Mr Spock " she said softly .She had to admit she sort of missed falling asleep holding his hand ,but she didn't think he needed to know that .She felt his presence begin to overwhelm the small room. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling .It was just that she was suddenly hyper- aware of him . She let herself move closer to him .

" Why are you here ? " she asked . For once, she did not look away from his dark eyes , just let herself be near him. "Why is it always this way between us .? " she continued . " You know me better than any other being in the universe .You have literally resided inside 've seen the entirety of my life. Is it really because I once told you I loved you under the influence of an alien virus .'

He hesitated . This new Christine that stood before him confused him far more than the other one . He knew what the other one wanted . This one he was not so sure . " There is no logic to it .' He took her hand in his . " I am finding that I am the one who cannot sleep. "

' I'm not 10 yrs old anymore Spock and I think this " she said indicating their clasped hands "Isn't enough anymore . You've learned to accept my love but I can't keep giving and not getting anything back . '

" I do not know what to give . " he admitted his voice low , barely audible . She thought about it for a moment , then smiled ' Give me a memory . You saw the last time I made love . Show me the last time you made love . " He raised his brow considering her request .

" It may not be as you think it will be . " he answered carefully . The memory was not pleasant to him . It left him filled with shame and remorse . Not the choice of partner but the complete loss of control that had occurred . Ther had been nothing of love in it.

" There's only one way to find out . " She was staring at him unashamed of her love for him and defiant . She claimed to love him ,the whole him . The Vulcan and the Human . what better test than to show her the basest part of both selves.

" My mind to your mind . Your thoughts to my thoughts . He whispered . Her blue eyes faded to be replace with another set of eyes . Eyes glazed with fury .

" You damned Vulcan ! " He spat . His voice thick with anger and drink . Not drunk yet but trying to be . " How dare you judge me ! At least I'm not afraid to show a little emotion every once in awhile .! "

Spock felt his own anger rising inside him Kirk throwing himself at that little girl , the killers daughter . Lenore had been too young and fragile to resist him ." I have no wish to give myself to any vessel who happens to be nearby . " he snapped .

Kirk snorted . " God forbid you should show a little bit of affection for one of us your friends . For the woman who loves you. "

He got up intending to leave . " Sit down ! You know about duty at least . " kirk ordered . Spock felt the rage building even more ,rapidly spiraling out of control . Something inside him snapped and the emotion broke free . Did it not always come down to this ? He was not_ Human enough ,not Vulcan enough , not good enough . _

" You have no idea what I feel ! " he ground thru clenched teeth .

Kirk laughed .He spoke those same words as she had " Show me ! "

He reached for the other man , gathering him tight against him. He placed his fingers against the side of his face, pushing into his mind . Releasing a flood of memories . Shayla , Leila , The Romulan Commander , Zarabeth , all of them demanding what he did not have in himself to give . His pain and loneliness , hidden deep within him. Then finally _her ._

Christine the one he did not want to fail ,the one who gave without taking .

Kirk laughed " That's it ' he whispered "_ I want it . Your rage your passion . " _ He clutched at his uniform shirt and his mouth met Spocks .then he pushed Kirk back roughly onto the bunk. " Yes ,like that " Krk cried out as he tore his clothing away . Spock gave himself over to the needs of the flesh . The other mans body strong and resilient under him .He stripped himself and pushed inside the willing body underneath him , purging himself until he was spent.

" Oh " she breathed as he slowly withdrew from her mind .He let her lean against him , supporting her weight till she regained herself .Contrary to being repelled ,she was aroused by the memory .Her face was flush and her breathing quickened. Her blue eyes met his and he let himself kiss her .He could not help it .Her desire flooded thru him where she touched him . Oh Spock .I've never expected you to act like a human in love .just be who you are . "

He let himself hold her ." Sometimes I am not sure who that is . " he said softly . his mouth brushing against hers .

" You are Spock . Nothing more nothing less , and anyone can change .'

" You have changed .he said .

" Is that a bad thing ? " she asked

" No." he answered . He kissed her again simply because he wished to . She responded to it eagerly , her body pliant against his . Then she backed away ,pulling the pins from her hair ,It curled down to her shoulders . He reached fro her ,wanting to run his fingers thru it , feel the soft strands against the back of his hands . She laughed , pushing him away .

" No you've made me wait . She wanted to punish him just a little .

She undressed and went into her bedroom . He followed her to the side of the bed . She pushed him away again ." Wait " she ordered . Her voice husky with desire .Her chest rising and falling could see her nipples hardening . Her skin flushed . He could smell her arousal and it heightened his . She climbed into into the bed and pulled back the covers. "Now " she whispered .He stripped himself quickly and laid himself over her .

" You are beautiful " he groaned as he kissed her . He wanted to push his hardness into her but he controlled it . Moved his hands over her body ,exploring . His lips finding her breasts . She moaned as his tongue circled her nipple . Then trailing down to between her legs to taste her briefly . He pushed her legs open .

" Spock . " she cried out .

" Do you want me ? " he asked moving between her thighs . Nudging against the opening of her sex.,not letting himself inside her just yet .

" Yes " she whimpered flexing underneath him, urging herself towards him .

" I want you ." he answered , sliding himself inside her. He moved slowly . sinking deep in her warm body . Letting the pleasure build slowly for both of them . She tightened around him , her legs wrapping around his waist. Her fingers digging into his back . " Faster .Please . " she begged and he thrust faster, He felt her orgasming and he lost himself ,driving into her . His own quickly following hers , he collapsed breathless into her waiting arms .

She was drowsy next to him ,her head resting on his shoulder. Hand over his heart feeling its strong beat. He finally ran his fingers thru her hair ,enjoying the feel of the silky strands entwined around his fingers. Her kissed her again and felt the gentle flare of connection as he brushed her cheek . He wanted to explore her mind as thoroughly as he had explored her body.

He was uncertain , not sure if she would welcome it . Then she opened her eyes and all he saw was acceptance there. He melded with her ,moving gently into her being . It was like sliding into a pool of cool water. His presence setting off little ripples as he joined with her . The ripples became waves around him sending love and affection against him. He gathered them up sent them back to her adding his own . The waves grew changing from a gentle ripple to the oceans growing tide . They crashed together seamlessly until they were one being . She gasped as he shifted onto his back so she was straddled over him as he filled her sex . He let his breath grow slow and even and she instinctively matched it . They became one body and soul until together they exploded inside each other. settling back into the gentle rippling pool again .

* * *

She wanted sex. He could feel it even when they were not touching . Sex was not something either of them had indulged in with such frequency, it was a new experience for them both . He stopped in the empty corridor and kissed her quickly , her body pressed against his urgently . He held her hand as they walked down the corridor unobserved thru the door to the observation deck .

" Now ! " she whispered kissing him hungrily .

" Yes. " he whispered against her mouth . She was reaching for his waistband ,pulling at the fastenings . "Computer lock.. " he began then all thought left him as he felt her hand moving over his hard sex, followed quickly by her mouth . He moaned her name , his hands tangling in her hair.

* * *

" Have you seen Cris ? " Mccoy asked Kirk.

" No , I was looking for Spock . I wanted to see if he was interested in a game of chess. Now that I think about it I haven't seen much of either of them. " kirk replied .

McCoy sighed. " Maybe they're ignoring each other again. I'm gonna check the observation deck . " Cris hid out there sometimes.

" I'll come with . One of these days we should just lock them in a room together till they work things out . "

" Let mother nature take over ! " McCoy laughed .

* * *

McCoy stopped dead in his tracks as the door opened , Kirk bumping into him . He pulled McCoy back quickly letting the doors close again .

" Well we found them ." Kirk observed .

" They're they were ... Oh my damn ." was all Mccoy could say . There was no mistaking what they had seen .There stoic first officer with his pants around his ankles .Christine wrapped very firmly around him moaning his name . Both of them framed with stars as he pressed her against the glass .

"Oh my damn ." McCoy repeated laughing .

" Let's get out of here ! " Kirk suggested.

* * *

" I believe we may have been observed . " Spock said casually .

She paused in gathering her uniform together ." I thought you locked the door . " she said confused .

" You did not give me time to complete the sentence . " He said putting his arms around her before kissing her again,

" Oh " she replied blushing . " Who do you think it was ? " Hoping for an anonymous crew member .

" You do not want to know " he had caught a brief glimpse of them in the glass behind her before the doors had closed again .

" Oh " she repeated burying her face in his shoulder." Len ? "

" and the captain ." he said ." when ? " she asked hoping they hadn't seen much .

" Right before your your orgasm ." he said mildly . She blushed even harder . He gently brushed her cheek ,sending her calm and affection . " It is not the first time either of them has seen my backside , under differing circumstances of course . I will go and speak with them before they have a chance to spread gossip . "

" I guess we should have said something sooner . I just wasn't ready to share yet . "

" Nor was I. There is no sense dwelling on it . " She nodded her agreement . He kissed her again , helping her finish dressing before he left her .

* * *

They both looked up guiltily as Spock entered McCoy's office . " I do not think that what you observed was traumatic enough that you must resort to alcohol. " he greeted them. a half empty bottle rested on the desk .

" I don't know McCoy was pretty traumatized . ' Kirk laughed as McCoy scowled .

He raised an eyebrow at both of them as they snickered . McCoys scowl finally changing into a grin.

" Well I never pegged you as the exibitionist type ." McCoy drawled

" The exhibition was accidental and I did not choose the location ." The tips of his ears flushed the slightest bit green.

" That's my girl ." McCoy said fondly remembering his own experience with her

"How long has this been going on ? Kirk asked .

"Yeah and when were you going to tell us ? " McCoy chimed in .

Spock sighed inwardly . She would leave in a month ,the future fairly uncertain . He only knew he would miss her when she was gone .

" It is what it is " he said finally " and I believe it is impolite to kiss and tell "

" A toast then " McCoy cried handing Spock a glass .

" To Christine " they chanted together .

* * *

**Okay, its done . Ending is a little lame but I'm fairly happy with the rest . Feedback would be appreciated i'm fairly new at this ,so i need the help . **


End file.
